


That one time with the cat

by courgette96



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Artist Kylo Ren, Cat cafe AU, Fluff, Genderfluid Character, Genderfluid Hux, Lots of it, M/M, Soft Kylux, Tiny bit of Hurt, lots of comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-09
Updated: 2016-08-09
Packaged: 2018-08-07 17:49:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,593
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7723957
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/courgette96/pseuds/courgette96
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's seven in the morning, it's cold outside, and bearded ginger just shoved a cat in Kylo's arms.</p><p>It was not the meet-cute he was looking for, but it works just fine anyway.</p>
            </blockquote>





	That one time with the cat

**Author's Note:**

> So, this was written for [Boredbyreality's](http://boredbyreality.tumblr.com/)Trans Hux Tuesday, and is based on [the-pudding-is-a-lie's](http://the-pudding-is-a-lie.tumblr.com/) art featuring Genderfluid Hux! Go check those blogs out, they are really worth it!
> 
> I did lots of research for this fic, but if I got anything wrong, please tell me! I'll do my best to correct it.
> 
> No beta, all mistakes are mine.

It is the middle of November, in the early morning, there is a man talking to him in an accent that sounds like he has lived his entire life in a castle, and Kylo has a white and orange cat in his hands that he hopes he is holding right because he never had a cat in his life so what does he know?

These things happen.

He had been running low on art supplies, and he knew he needed to restock before he actually ran on in the middle of an inspiration strike. So he had left in the early morning, to avoid the crowd, and it had been cold so he had taken his big black coat that was kind of ratty but that he still liked.

He really likes coats, as a rule.

And pretty people. He likes those too.

And pretty people in coats, like the man in front of him. He is speaking very intently about cats, their home, and lack thereof, and why Kylo should adopt one to solve the latter, and Kylo still has a cat in his hands because the man shoved it in them.

He is also starring. A lot. And the handsome stranger in a coat doesn't seem to notice, which is good all things considered.

The ginger wonder pauses mid-sentence, and pulls back, blushing red. Red hair and red blush with a brown coat and brown heeled boots, there is a color scheme there that Kylo commits to memory. He’ll be getting all those shades at the paint store.

The man clears his throat, gloved hands working at his collar. “Pardon my enthusiasm,” he says, voice thick with embarrassment. “I simply abhor the idea of homeless cats.”

“Oh, no, it’s fine,” Kylo says hurriedly. “I like it…. Uh, your enthusiasm. I like your enthusiasm.” He nods slowly. “Yeah…”

He looks down then, at the cat that is still caught in between his hands. Its front legs are hooked over Kylo’s fingers, making its paws dangle over them. It doesn’t move much though, except for its head which keeps turning left and right in a perpetually curious gaze.

It is absolutely adorable.

Kylo will be responsible for its death if he kept it for more than three days.

“But, uh, you see, sir-”

“Hux.”

“Hux,” Kylo amends. “I can’t actually take care of a cat.” At the absolutely crestfallen look the ginger man gives him, he quickly elaborates. “I mean, my apartment is small, and I don’t think I could actually keep a close enough eye on it, and I’m generally kind of forgetful when I get painting and… yeah.”

He winces at the poor finish.

In front of him, Hux nods once, obviously disappointed but still understanding. “Of course, of course,” he says sadly. He makes a move towards the kitten. “I will take her from you. Terribly sorry for the inconvenience.”

And then Kylo thinks fast.

In about two seconds, he will no longer be holding the cat. It will then be time for awkward goodbyes, and then the gorgeous man in the coat will turn away and leave his life forever, which is completely unacceptable.

So Kylo does the slightly less unacceptable option, which is to snatch the kitten away as Hux’s fingers brush against its fur, and yell out a very loud: “Wait!”

Hux pauses, looks at Kylo in utter perplexity.

“I know people who would want a cat,” he says quickly. He isn’t even lying – Finn and Poe are totally the cat type, and a ready for the pet milestone.

If they’re not he’ll make them ready.

“So, uh, all I need to do is tell them that there is a stray, and they would be delighted to take it in.”

“Her.”

“Right. Her.” Kylo swallows. “So, maybe hold onto her for one night, and then I can organize a meetup?”

Hux hums as he contemplates the options, giving Kylo a look of such utter suspicion that it’s almost hurtful.

Again, Kylo didn’t technically lie.

Finally, Hux nods once, resolutely and finally. “Very well. Do you have a time and place in mind? One that would accept a cat?”

This time, Kylo flat out lies. “I know a cat café. It’s actually nearby. I can give you the address?”

Hux agrees, and takes out his phone to type the coordinates.

As Kylo slowly dictates the name, he is already planning his next move.

*

_rey, pls, need ur hlp! <<_

_(4:17 pm)_

_> > What is it?_

_(4:22 pm)_

_i need u 2 make ur KF into a cat 1. <<_

_(4:22 pm)_

_> > WTF?_

_(4:22 pm)_

_Pls!!!!! <<_

_(4:23pm)_

_> > Why?_

_(4:23pm)_

_its a guy <<_

_Pls!!!!_ _:(_ _< <_

_(4:23pm)_

 

_> > You need to figure out how to flirt better_

_(4:24pm)_

 

_i kno <<_

_but u didn t see him <<_

_i thnk hes a prince <<_

_hes English at least <<_

_(4:25pm)_

 

_> > And you’re bringing him to a cat café?_

_> > This isn’t a yes by the way. Cat hair is a nightmare. _

_I’m not cleaning that._

_(4:26pm)_

 

_Rmbr when i told u i lost the <<_

_Falcon keys?_

_i was lying <<_

_ill giv thm back if u say yes <<_

_(4:26pm)_

 

_> > You piece of shit_

_(4:27pm)_

 

_:)_ _!!!!!!! <<_

_(4:27pm)_

*

 

Hux would never say this out loud, but she strongly suspects that this café isn’t a cat café at all.

There is a distressing lack of felines, for one. Additionally, the girl at the counter keep giving wary looks at the kitten on her laps, so much so that Hux found herself more than once tempted to put her hand over the poor animal’s eyes to shield her from that gaze.

Still, the cadre is nice, the seats are comfortable, and now that her mind isn’t entirely focused on the abandoned kitten, it helpfully points out to her that the man sitting in front of her is in fact pulling off the undercut, despite her very negative bias towards that particular haircut.

Her mind also supplies the image of him standing as he greeted her, his large and baggy blue sweater falling over tight black pants, his face beaming as soon as she pushed the door open.

It had been quite some time since anyone had looked so happy to see her.

“Glad you could make it,” Kylo says as she sat down. His eyes dart down towards the kitten in her laps. “So how is she doing?”

“Very well, thank you for asking,” Hux replies, carefully holding herself back from launching into a detailed report over the kitten’s state. “You said you had potential owners in mind?”

“Yeah. I gave him a call; he should come by any minute. We can order something while we wait, if you like?”

Hux nods. “A latte would be lovely.”

Kylo smiles in reply, and raises his hand to get the attention of the girl at the counter. Hux spots her checking the floor and the cushions for cat hair as she makes her way closer.

“A cappuccino for me, with extra chocolate,” Kylo dictated when she took out her pad to take their order. “And he’ll have a latte.”

Ah.

That hadn’t happened in a while. Her social circle was rather limited, after all, and so everyone whom she regularly talked to knew how to read her cues, or even just to ask her for her pronouns of the moment should they have a doubt.

She supposes she couldn’t blame Kylo for misgendering her – or rather, she wouldn’t when it was an honest mistake.

That doesn’t mean that she would allow him to carry on with his misconceptions.

“It’s “she” today, actually,” she corrects in a polite tone, voice light and casual. Inwardly, she is carefully awaiting his reaction.

She sees the very moment realization dawns on Kylo, wide eyes and slightly parted lips which are immediately followed by a heavy blush. “Oh, sorry!” he blurts out.

He quickly turns towards Rey. “A latte for her,” he amends in a slightly flustered tone, glancing once towards Hux as he does so.

Hux only smiles amiably. He is reacting better than most.

When Rey leaves to prepare their order, Kylo turns towards her once more. “So sorry about that,” he blurts out again, scratching the back of his head. “I didn’t think about it, and – well, sorry.” He chuckles nervously. “Um, anyway, what pronouns do I use? So I don’t mess up again?”

For a moment, Hux debates the merits answering in detail when she had no plans of seeing this person again; in the end, his humility towards the subject puts her in a good mood. “It varies,” she finally explains. “For practicalities’ sake, I put on a bracelet when I identify as “she”,” she elaborated, gesturing towards the silver chain around her wrist, “and a broach when I identify as “they”. Not because I need to, you understand. I simply find that having this system considerably reduces misgendering.”

“Right,” Kylo nods. “Thanks. I’ll remember that.” He clears his throat once. “So, about the cat…”

*

The affair with the cat is resolved very quickly, in the end.

Poe shows up, is smitten with the cat, and coos. The cat sees Poe, is smitten with him, and releases a series of oddly chirp-like meowls. They leave the café hand in paw.

Hux lingers long after, something Kylo is incredibly grateful for.

Hux is a teacher in political science. Hux has a biting sense of humor. They enter a debate over a particular topic, and Hux won’t even pretend to relent even if her opponent is someone she has just met.

Kylo loves all of that.

But Hux gets a phone call from work, and has to leave in a hurry. The two of them exchange smiles and warm farewells, and Kylo sits with a stupid smile on his face for five minutes.

And then he realizes he hasn’t asked her for her number.

“Rey!” he calls out in a horrible, pitiful moan. “I am an idiot!”

*

Hux is grinning like a loon well into the evening, even as she makes herself coffee in preparation for a long night of grading papers.

It is only when she sits down at her desk that she realizes she hasn’t asked for his number.

“Millie, I am a buffoon.”

*

Hux is in the middle of their class when they spot him. They almost trip at the sight, quite a feat considering they are standing still when it happens. But there is something about the sight of a very tall, very attractive man awkwardly shifting on his feet while his eyes are focused on Hux that makes gravity work wrong.

Or maybe it is the combination of weak knees and very high heels; but that would imply that the heels are somehow to blame, something Hux absolutely refuses to consider since they adore this particular pair.

Once they spot him, it is impossible to ignore the man, so Hux spends the rest of their class keenly aware that they are saying words but also completely clueless as to what those words might be. They do hope it had something to do with the class they are supposed to be teaching.

Their students don’t seem to notice anything amiss, though. So that’s something.

Class ends, and as their students shuffle out Hux packs their briefcase with such careful meticulousness one might think it is a delaying tactic. Eventually though, all their papers are filed away in alphabetical order and color coded, and there is really no reason for them not to go out and meet the young man who has still been waiting for them all this time.

As Hux makes their way towards Kylo, they build their confidence with each step. Shoulders back, chin high, pleasant and slightly aloof smile, it is really nothing they haven’t done before. They can do this, and do it very well.

Their plan to be absolutely charming is completely cut short by Kylo, who open his mouth as soon as Hux is close enough for conversation.

“I am not stalking you!”

Hux stops shorts. They blink.

“Pardon?”

“I’m not stalking you,” Kylo repeats, slower but no less breathless. “I have a friend here; his name is Finn. He’s Poe’s boyfriend – you’ve met him. Not Finn, Poe – and anyway I was going to meet Finn to give him back a book I borrowed – I like books – and he’s in social studies which is right next door. I mean, those two buildings aren’t that far away right? So anyway I came here and looked around and got lost twice and found your classroom and do you want to go out with me?”

Hux blinks again. “I didn’t think you were stalking me.”

And then they realize that they didn’t actually answer the question, so they quickly blurt out: “Yes, yes of course.” They clear their throat, and give their pleasant and slightly aloof smile. “It would be a pleasure.”

Kylo’s face turns from utter nervousness to pure joy in 0,6 seconds. His smile is bright, almost too big for his face and utterly delightful. “Great! Movies?”

“That sounds perfect.”

“I was thinking comedy, you like comedy right?”

“So long as it isn’t a romantic comedy, I am amenable to them.”

“Oh good, me too! This one had great reviews though!” Kylo’s smile is still far too wide. “It’s a date, then?”

Hux’s smile may be too wide as well. “It’s a date.”

“Great!”

In truth, Hux could very well stay here all day, but alas, reality has its demands. “I am sorry, Kylo, but I do have another lecture to give in five minutes,” they begin apologetically.

They never get to continue as Kylo nods hurriedly. “Oh, yeah, of course! I won’t hold you up.” He grins again. “See you on our date then, I guess?”

“I can’t wait”, Hux says honestly.

As Kylo walks away, they watch him go until he turns the corner.

They end up being late for class anyway, but it was well worth it.

*

_To Pr. A. Hux,_

_Hello, Professor. My name is Finn Boyega **,** I am in the social studies course._

_Kylo forgot to give you his number, and the where and when of your date, so they are all written on the back of this note._

_I know you hate it when people enter your office in your absence, but Kylo was desperate and wouldn’t let me just tape this note to the door in case someone ripped it away. Also, the sanitation staff likes me a lot, so they lent me their keys; I didn’t break in or anything._

_Please don’t get me expelled._

*

The date ends up being at 4:30 pm on a Saturday afternoon.

Kylo arrives half an hour early, fully expecting he will need the extra time to compose himself. His plan is thwarted by Hux, who arrives fashionably early at 4:25 pm.

“You’re here,” he says kind of dumbly.

Hux smiles. Their broach gleams when it catches the sun.

“Indeed I am.”

“Good. Cause the movie starts in ten minutes, so we can’t be late.”

If Hux wasn’t standing right in front of him, Kylo would punch himself in the face.

“Also, we need extra time to choose our seats,” he continues, because it’s best to forge ahead than stay stuck on a blunder (he thinks). “This is our first date, so we need to make sure our seating policies are compatible.”

Hux raises an eyebrow, their eyes shining in amusement. “Oh? And what if they’re not?”

“We fight to the death.”

The sound of Hux’s laughter is the most wonderful and gratifying sound Kylo has ever heard. Unrestrained, yet elegant. Just like the rest of them.

Kylo is probably going to do a lot of stupid things in the future, just to hear it again.

“But then who would I see the movie with then?” Hux retorts finally when their chuckles die down. They school their features in an expression of mock-seriousness, their voice falsely stern. “Though of course, two thirds in the back is the only acceptable option.”

“… I like the front row.”

“It’s fine. We all have our faults.”

*****

They end up sitting in the back row.

Grumbling slightly, Kylo takes out his glasses and puts them on. The frame teases the edge of his vision, very noticeably to him because how little he wears them.

When he turns back towards Hux, they pause mid-sentence, and blush slightly. Their mouth stays parted open.

Their eye trail along his face, resting on the glasses. Their head gives a little nod in approval, one that Kylo thinks wasn’t entirely voluntary.

But yeah, he’ll wear the glasses more often now.

*

The movies was…. Alright. Not deserving the raving reviews, but not bad either. An entertaining hour and a half, a few good scenes here and there, an up and coming actor that looks promising enough.

That being said, it did allow Kylo to hear Hux’s laughter nine more times, so it may just be one of the best movies ever.

Hux is smiling as they walk out, talking animatedly about the quality of the plot compared to that of recent comedies in the past five years. It’s kind of amazing how opinionated they can be about what is only a lighthearted movie.

Kylo loves it though.

When they step out into the street, Kylo quickly offers for the two of them to grab coffee somewhere. He isn’t all that surprised when Hux agrees, but that doesn’t make him any less happy to hear it.

As they walk side by side, Kylo starts thinking that he really wants to hold Hux’s hand. It is a childish fantasy, to be sure, but he cannot help it. He is an artist, he works with his hands, and everything that is not sight is touch.

And when he looks at Hux’s hand, thin and elegant, encased in purple fabric he knows would be butter soft, he wants to take it in his large, rough one and marvel at the difference.

He doesn’t dare to, though.

“It’s pretty hot today,” he comments idly. “Don’t you want to take off your gloves?”

He hadn’t meant much by it, yet Hux blushes in response. They look at their hand for a beat longer than a glance, then back at Kylo with an almost sheepish smile.

“It’s fine,” they say. The lightness of their voice contrast with the way their fingers tense ever so slightly. “I don’t like removing them, to be honest.”

There are many things unsaid behind those words, but not invitation to ask about them.

So Kylo just nods.

“Okay.”

Hux blinks at his response; their smile takes on the shades of relief and fondness.

They reach out, take Kylo’s hand in theirs, and squeeze.

*

The rest of the date went very well, if somewhat traditionally. Talking about themselves, chatting about topics neutral that neither of them had a chance of offending the other, yet still interesting enough that the conversation wasn’t dull.

(Hux had admittedly gone on a tangent about Millicent, but Kylo had seemed interested enough, and even mentioned wanting to meet her. Hux has no doubt that there was more than a little amount of politeness involved in that, but oh well. They’ll take it.)

Making plans for their next date, too. That had been a highlight.

And now Hux is walking Kylo back to his apartment. They fully intend on kissing him in front of his door after whispered goodbyes, because that move is a classic for a reason. Besides, the entire date had been

Unfortunately, those plans are completely derailed when Kylo opens his front door, and Hux catches a glimpse of his studio.

They stare in shock, and though it is very rude, step inside without invitation to get a better look at the chaos inside.

“Good Lord.”

Paint. Paint everywhere.

On the walls, on the floor, on the furniture. Most likely in dark corners that Hux’s eyes cannot see right now.

Also, there are paintbrushes littering the carpet, staining it in black and blues and purples as their tips sink into it. There are also boxes spread all over the place, half open and half empty. A few of them were stacked in the corner in what was probably the withered remains of a once neat and orderly pile.

Among that chaos stands one lone canvas, which is covered in an almost pristine white sheet, an absurd island of tidiness amongst a sea of disorder.

They turn towards Kylo, who looks both sheepish and defensive. “… I have a process….”

Hux decides not to comment on the floor. Instead, they make their way towards the canvas in the room, stepping over a dried out paint brush as they do. “That looks like a big piece…”

“It’s not finished yet,” Kylo says softly, catching up to them.  He places his hand on the small of Hux’s back, an affectionate gesture that somehow also seems to be meant to restrain them. Kylo bites his lips. “So I keep it covered when I leave.”

The request behind that statement is obvious.

So despite their curiosity, they turn away from the unfinished work.

“I hope you’ll show me the final product.”

Kylo smiles in relief.

“Yeah,” he says slowly, eyes shining as he looks upon Hux. “I will.”

And he leans forward, and kisses them.

And after half a second of shock, Hux moans, places their hands on his waist, and kisses back.

It isn’t the kiss they had in mind, but it no less perfect for it.

*****

_hey rey? <<_

_(10:12am)_

 

_> > What?_

_(11:03am)_

_u kno how u hav a huge crush on <<_

_phasma?_

_ill set u up if u let Hux bring his cat <<_

_(11:05am)_

 

_> > I feel like our relationship as cousins is based _

_way too heavily on blackmail and bribery._

_> > But deal_

_(11:05am)_

*****

It is an important moment in Hux’s life when his cat meets Kylo.

They are at the same café where Hux and Kylo had their first real conversation, he is drinking the same very good latte he ordered last time. The love of his life and his boyfriend are currently engaged in a staring contest of extremely high stakes. Neither of them are moving, both of their heads are slightly cocked to the side.

Hux takes another sip of his drink to stave off the uncomfortable revelation that part of his attraction to Kylo may stem from the man’s cat-like mannerisms.

The encounter ends in Millicent bumping Kylo’s nose with hers, turning on her heels and walking away with her head held high and her tail vertical.

Kylo looks at him, frowning. “I honestly don’t know what happened.”

Hux lowers his mug. “She approved of you, but with reservations. Expect to find a certain amount of scratch marks on your jeans for a while and for her to come up to demand stomach rubs. How you react to those encounters will largely influence her future opinion of you. I suggest a stern but gentle approach, although of course your behavior will need to take into account environmental cues.” Another sip. “If you ever have any doubts on what course of actions to adopt, feel free to ask.”

Kylo blinks. “You know, for a second, I had actually forgotten how we first met.”

Hux shrugs. “You said you liked my enthusiasm.”

*

                                                                              _rey!!!!! <<_

_poe told me that u made the kf in2 <<_

_a cat one for real!!!_

_he said u did it 2 weeks ago!!! <<_

_(6:21pm)_

 

_> > Yep._

_> > But you gave me Phasma’s phone number anyway._

_> >So suck it._

_(6:51pm)_

*

Hux only has one pump on when the doorbell rings. A quick check of his watch reveals that Kylo is not, in fact, early. Which conversely means that Hux is behind schedule, something that hasn’t happened in the past five years.

He blames it entirely on Millicent, who saw fit to rub herself against the pants of his suit, leaving a field of red hair over the green plaid. Hux supposes that the pop of color in an otherwise minimalistic environment was too tempting for her to pass up, but he wasn’t inclined to be forgiving when he was franticly using the clothing roll in nothing but his shirt, vest, and underwear.

After he hastily shoved on the second shoe, he rushes to the door and opens it just as Kylo is about to ring for a second time.  

“Kylo,” he breathes out, taking in the sight before him. “Glad you made it.”

He had instructed Kylo to dress as he usually did, but it seemed his boyfriend had decided otherwise. The jacket and dress shirt are much smarter than anything Hux has seen in him before. His hair is much tidier too, pulled up in a neat bun that Hux both appreciates immensely and wants to tug loose.

He is also wearing his glasses.

Hux _really_ likes those glasses.

So much so that he doesn’t wait for Kylo to greet him in return before pulling him in for a kiss. Not that Kylo seems to mind much.

“Hey,” he whispers in a smile as Hux pulls away. He peeks over Hux’s shoulder. “Nice place. Very tidy. Explains why you almost had a heart attack when you saw my place.”

“I have a delicate constitution,” Hux says in good humor. He escorts Kylo inside, placing his gloved hand on the small of his back. “I haven’t consulted you on our dinner tonight. Is Japanese alright with you.”

Kylo nods enthusiastically. “Yeah, it’s great! Don’t worry.”

Hux smiles at him. “Perfect,” he says with a warm smile. He gestures towards the couch. “I will finish getting ready. Please, make yourself comfortable!”

(As Kylo sits down on a charcoal grey couch that is slightly too hard for his taste, Hux rushes into the bathroom and cancels the reservations he has made in the other restaurants, each with different types of cuisine.)

(So he likes to be prepared. It is only sensible.)

*

Surprisingly, and somewhat hilariously, Hux isn’t all that good at using chopsticks.

Kylo spends five minutes laughing in astonishment before gently taking Hux’s fingers and replacing them in the correct position. From there one, his ginger boyfriend manages to keep the sushi from falling into the soy sauce, even if he is less than graceful in doing so.

“Next time,” Kylo murmurs, “we’ll just have sushi delivered, and I’ll feed them to you by hand.”

Hux chokes on his drink, blushes heavily, but looks decidedly intrigued by the idea.

Kylo totally counts that as a win.

*

_Hey Hux, wanna hang out? <<_

_(1:12pm)_

_> >Where did you have in mind?_

_(1:13pm)_

_Idk <<_

_U could come 2 my place <<_

_(1:13pm)_

_> >Absolutely not._

_> >If anything, come to mine._

_> >Your apartment is appalling._

_(1:15pm)_

_But I like making you come! <<_

_; ) <<_

_(1:16pm)_

_> >You utter child._

_> >Was this all a pretext for a crude joke?_

_(1:17pm)_

_Nope im on my way <<_

_i have movies in my bag <<_

_and drinks, and board games <<_

_and my computer <<_

_and a football ball <<_

_i didnt kno wat u would want 2 do <<_

_so i paniked <<_

_(1:19pm)_

*

Kylo can’t stop looking at her. He can’t help it.

He knows he should stop. Nobody likes being stared at, especially not by him; his eyes are too intense, or so he is told. (Not by Hux.)

Hux is stared at enough already too. Whenever they walk down the street, people stop to gawk at “the man in the heels”; and though Hux feels no shame for her preferences, she does feel irritation when complete strangers do double takes as she walks past them. She does not like being stared at, because in her own words, staring is an act only reserved for the grotesque.

(Kylo knows what she means when she says that, knows the difference between staring and looking. But it is hard to believe that people could think of Hux as anything but sublime. When she speaks and waves her hand in the air, long fingers dancing as they accentuate her words, Kylo thinks of dust waltzing in a sunbeam or a ballerina stretching on her toes, and wonders how he ever thought of looking for grace anywhere else.)

Kylo knows all this, but he cannot stop looking.

Because Hux is beautiful, you see.

It is by no means a revelation, but it is something about the scene in front of him. About Hux in his apartment, curled up in a chair, one legs against her chest, the other folded beneath her. About her white shirt and white pants, white gloves clutching a white-bound book; of her purple tie, the only flash of color other than her red hair. About the light hitting her _just so_ , and Kylo is so deep in admiration that he doesn’t notice when the words leave his lips.

“Can I paint you?”

Hux looks up, startled. Her lips are parted open, her eyes slightly widened, she looks shocked, perhaps even warry. Kylo almost wants to take the words back.

Almost. Not quite. He will accept any answer he receives, but he doesn’t want Hux to believe he regrets asking.

“You’re beautiful,” he whispers. “Can I paint you?”

Hux’s parted lips close. She swallows. Takes a deep breath.

Gives him a smile that is more shy than any she has given him before.

“Yes.”

*

Hux never got her portrait done.

The opportunity was lacking, for one. Portraits were so rarely done these days, and who would she ask if the whim struck her?

As for if the whim ever _did_ strike her…

The desire to be seen is such a strange one. She meets so many people every day, speaks in front of hundreds of students on a weekly basis; but all those eyes glaze over her in neutral politeness, in boredom. They do not see her beyond her rank, her title, her outward appearance, and she has no great problem with that, if only because habit has made her much more resistant to such things.

But to be seen as she is… She had desired that very much once, after the fumbling self-discovery of her teenage years, before the confidence that had been forged through time had been installed.

Before her own look upon herself had been all that she needed, she had felt so very raw, and defenseless. Without barriers to surround her, it shocked her that no one could _see_ all that she was, and it left her so very vulnerable to every casual dismissal or purposeful cruelty.

(And perhaps Armitage Hux, whose father eyes would glaze over him in indifferent contempt, whose mother had never seen him beyond his fourth birthday…. Perhaps Armitage Hux wanted to be seen for everything that they were, and be loved for it.)

And Kylo asked her if he could paint her.

And despite herself, she had been frightened.

To let Kylo paint her goes beyond letting him look; it is inviting him to tell her what he sees. And with that comes the fear that what he will put on his canvas is not what is before him; is not _her_.

“I’ll be quick, don’t worry,” he says in the slightly self-conscious babble that comes with his enthusiasm. “My style isn’t all that big on details to begin with.”

Hux can only give a small smile in response.

True to his word, Kylo does work quickly. He is quiet as he works, eyes darting from her to his canvas, and back again, unreadable and focused. He doesn’t berate her when she fidgets in her chair, doesn’t ask her to move her arm or tilt her head.

Hux can get lost in the rhythm of his breathing, in the swirl of paint on his pallet, on anything except her own thoughts.

“Okay, I’m done. Close your eyes.”

Hux obeys, with no small amount of trepidation.

“I’m just turning it around, and… okay, you can look now.”

She takes a breath, opens her eyes –

And exhales.

The colors on the canvas are simple, honest things. Solid purples, slightly off-whites, blocks of single color to contrast with the thousands of shades that shape her hair. The brushstrokes are visible, almost aggressive in the way the lay upon the canvas. Every slash denoting the emotion behind it, and oh, the portrait it makes…

Confidence through the ridges of paints, elegance in the curve of the lines. Tension in the straight back, fluidity in the shape of the hands.

Femininity too; in something that cannot be pinpointed, but that pours from the entirety of the subject and echoes in the vision of the artist.

It is a woman in the painting, beard and suit and all. It is a woman, and it is Hux, as she is in this moment, as she knows herself to be.

(And for so long, that was all that she needed. But not all that she wanted.)

Hux looks at the portrait, and sees herself.

And she knows that Kylo sees her to.

“So… do you like it?”

She turns towards Kylo, who is blushing terribly, his hands shoved in his pocket to keep from wringing them together. He is looking at her intently, visibly holding his breath as he waits for her answer.

But Hux has no words to give.

So all she can do is cup his face in her hands, press her lips against his and try not to cry in joy as she thinks of how much she loves this man.

*

Hux and Kylo try to bake together once.

“No, Kylo, that’s not baking powder. That’s baking soda.”

“It’s the same thing.”

“It’s not. Put it back. Did you measure the flour at least?”

“Yep, here it is.”

“….”

“What?”

“The recipe calls for 7/8th of a cup. This is ¾.”

“It’s the same.”

“No, it’s not! That is not enough for the amount of dough we have!”

“Well then…. Better get rid of some of that extra dough, huh?”

“What are you… No, Kylo, no get that away from me you…! Dammit, Kylo, you almost got my shirt collar!”

“Mmmmh, but I only got the skin. Don’t worry, copper muffin, I’ll wipe you clean.”

“Copper muffin?! What in hell are you…. Oh, what are you doing you, stop tha-aaaaah… _ooooooh..!_ ”

Hux and Kylo tried to bake together, once.

*

It’s raining outside, so their plans for an afternoon in the park are shot.

Instead, the two of them linger in Kylo’s apartment. Hux has just finished applying nail polish on Kylo’s toes – somehow, his fingers are more steady despite the other man’s years of practice applying the same black coating. Now, there is little for Kylo to do but wait for it to dry, feet spread out before him and paper towel stuck between each toe.

Hux has a book in his hand, but cannot focus on it. His eyes keep darting back to the painting in the corner, set carefully against the wall but not touched since that one Friday afternoon. His mind mulls over the colors and the woman in the painting, and a request he cannot quite voice.

“That portrait isn’t accurate,” he blurts finally, wincing at his own clumsiness.

Kylo looks up, alarmed. “I thought you liked it,” he replies, confusion tinted with a hint of panic that makes Hux rush to explain himself.

“I do, I promise,” he says quickly. He blushes, but forces himself to continue. “It’s just… it is a woman on the canvas.”

Kylo looks at him carefully, understanding slowly dawning in his eyes. “Yeah, it is.”

Hux takes a deep breath. “Paint me as I am today,” he breathes out. “Please.”

Kylo smiles, and leans in closer to kiss him.

Hux feels years of tension flow out of him as he melts in Kylo’s arms.

*

Kylo paints Hux a third time, when they ask for it.

Then a charcoal work while sitting in the sunshine. Then a scribble in pencils on the corner of a napkin while ordering coffee. Colored crayons on the back of a children’s menu, once.

Kylo doesn’t keep all of them, but those that he does he puts away carefully in a wooden box he brought specially for it. They are neatly filled, and carefully preserved, and sometimes looked over again, alone or with the only other person allowed to see them.

Kylo’s greatest possession is a chest full of Huxs, like the most fantastical of treasure.

*

Kylo is focused on getting his brushstroke just right when he feels a head rest on his shoulder.

“What are you painting?” he hears whispered in his ear.

He relaxes as arms come to wrap around his waist.

“I thought it’d be obvious.”

“Is that… Millicent?”

“Yeah.”

“You said you were painting a divinity.”

“Well, I wasn’t lying now, was I?”

Hux’s beard scratches against his skin when they smile. Kylo loves it.

*

Hux cannot tear his eyes away from Kylo’s, cannot help the way his heart speeds up or the way he blushes.

Kylo holds his gaze as he slowly slips Hux’s gloves off his hand, his thumb gently brushing against the inside of his wrist.

He brings Hux’s fingers to his lips, smiling as he peppers them with kisses, and Hux’s eyes flutter shut.

*****

There is a new exhibit at the Guggenheim, and Kylo has very strong feelings about it.

Hux rest his chin on his hand as he listens to the passionate monologue, watches with amusement as Kylo’s hands fly through the air as he speaks. His movement grow wider and faster as his voice grows more and more passionate; there is no one else in the café save for Millicent and Dameron’s cat, so Kylo does not restrain himself as he speaks.

Perhaps he should have, if only slightly, because one dramatic sweep of the hand latter and his cappuccino cup tips over and spills all over the table. The paper placemats soak up part of it, but it largely remains in a little brown puddle over darker brown wood.

Kylo yelps, frantically apologizes, curses a little, and quickly goes to grab a set of paper napkins from the counter. Hux quickly picks up the two kittens to keep them from lapping up the spilled drink.

He has no idea what a caffeine-high Millicent would look like, but he certainly doesn’t want to find out.

“Pardon my enthusiasm,” Kylo says, blushing heavily as he frantically wipes the coffee away.

Hux halts his gesture by taking his hand in his.

“I like your enthusiasm.”

He smiles, and Kylo’s blush turns from embarrassed to flattered. Hux very much wants to run the back of his fingers down his cheek, study the contrast of his glove against that slightly red hue.

So he does.

Kylo’s cheek shift beneath his fingers as his love slowly begins to smile.

“What’s happening back there?” Rey calls from the back room.

Kylo startles, opens his mouth to answer, but Hux beats him to it. “Millicent spilled some coffee. My apologies.”

He glances down towards the ginger cat on his lap, who he swears is looking at him accusingly. He winces. “I’m sorry, Millicent, but you will have to take one for the team.”

Kylo looks at him with wide eyes, before dissolving into a fit of giggles.

Hux buries his face in Millicent’s fur to muffle a snort of his own. He reaches out to take Kylo’s hand in his.

There is a stain of black paint on his purple gloves, but he finds that he doesn’t mind at all.

 

 


End file.
